Scene opens in a high school lunch room. Steve and Jason are best friends and have been for 10 years, therefor Jason gets the pleasure of hearing all of the drama Steve lives in. Joy. Today’s update is about Steve and Anastasia’s, his girlfriend, date last night and the horrific ending of it.
Steve: And then she just got out of the car, called me an ass and strutted away.
Jason: I think I missed how you fucked up. Usually I can find her logic, but this time…
Steve: You didn’t miss it; I didn’t fuck up. She was being a moody bitch. It her “thing” now.
Jason: Well you can avoid her or talk to her, because the queen has entered the lunchroom.
In glides Anastasia with her posse right on her heels. She stops at the door to make sure all eyes turn to her. She wears only the nicest clothes and no one has ever seen her not put together, except Steve and Jason. Her eye catches Steve and Jason from across the room and she begins to descends on them.
Anastasia: Hey Cassy, you look so cute today. Marie, did you do something new with your hair? (not waiting for an answer) It looks super presh. Hey Charles (winks).
Locks eyes with Steve, goes to kiss him, but right before their lips touch sits on Jason’s lap
Anastasia: Jason, why are you so cute? We need to find you a girlfriend. hi.
Jason: Can I leave before you two fight; I have things to do and…
Jason slides to the chair next to Steve, otherwise known as Anastasia’s chair. The posse reaches the table and starts to lay out Anastasia’s lunch in front of her.
Steve: Can you not do that yourself? (beat) When we started dating you hated the populars, now you are the popular. Where did you go?
Anastasia: (looks up from phone) did you say something?
Steve: never mind, your highness
Anastasia: look, I wanted to talk about yesterday (dismisses the posse).
Steve looks up, thinking she is finally going to apologize for something
Anastasia: I understand why you did what you did, but I wasn’t wearing the right shoes
Steve/Jason: (looking at each other) the right shoes!
Anastasia: seriously, don’t be butts (nudging whoever is closest)
Jason: ah, she is back! how was popular-ville
Steve: yes, I missed my girl
Anastasia: (slips off her shoes) I swear, why people though wearing heels to school was a good idea is beyond me.
Steve: then don’t wear heels, what happened to the converse I got you?
Anastasia: Those aren’t “trendy” anymore. But I sure as hell wish they were.
Jason: Well, Queen B, make them trendy. If you say it is, then it is. Pick what is trendy. It doesn’t seem that hard…
Anastasia: Oh, Jason. You really don’t know anything. We need to get him a girlfriend.
Jason: I am an independent man who don’t need NO woman.
All laugh. Anastasia starts to eat from her purse
Steve: no one is watching, just eat your meat.
Anastasia: people are always watching, so the fake vegan in me will enjoy my purse meat. (Beat) wait that sounded gross…
Steve: (flirty) well you’re gross, so it works.
Jason: and on that note, I’m leaving.
Anastasia: Why, where do you have to go? Or “get done”
Steve: so you were listening.
Anastasia smiles and turns her attention back to Jason
Anastasia: Wait, is there a girl?! Steve he has a girl. A GIRL! Who is she? Do we know her? Will we like her? Bring her to eat with us! PLEASE!
Jason: (bashful) nope, no girl
Anastasia: oh, then bye
Jason slips out of the cafeteria unnoticed. He smiles has he greet someone of stage.
Steve: so last night? Was it really just your shoes?
Anastasia: god no. I just wanted the bimbos to think that. It was the fact that I feel like I am two people all the time and I hate it. I want to be done with this, but don’t know how.
Steve: You need a new Queen B, or some scandal to get more attention than you.
Anastasia: if only scandalous things happened here
Steve: (leaning in to kiss her) you’ll find something (Steve tucks her hair behind her ear) you always do.
Bell rings. As students scatter Jason slips back in. His shirt is messed up and he fixes his hair.
Jason: come on love birds or we’ll be late for bio.
The posse returns to take Anastasia uneaten meal, as the trio exits. A figure appears from where Jason just entered from. The posse chats as the set up the scene for after school.
Steve: I think Mr. Lawson eats the frogs we dissect
Jason: Why you don’t like his frog breath mints? They are personally my favorite thing about him. That and he “I just rolled out of bed” hair at 2pm.
Anastasia: Be nice. He is a good teacher and that is all the matters.
Steve: Oh, does someone have a crush?
Anastasia: yes, because my boyfriend is an oaf
Steve starts to fake tackle Anastasia to the ground. As they mess around Jason joins in. It soon becomes a laughing fit as they all collapse to the ground. Anastasia’s clothes are messed up, some dirt has gotten on them, but she doesn’t care.
Natalie approaches the rumble. She is a senior and leads the school with an iron fist. It is clear she is above Anastasia.
Natalie: Back to your old ways I see. (don’t allow Anastasia to answer) If you want to be popular you need to ditch dumb and dumber.
Steve: Important question, which on is dumber?
Anastasia: (hitting Steve) Sorry Natalie. Do you like my new channel skirt? (she notices the dirt on it)
Natalie: Seriously? (she struts away in to a group of men who begin too droll over her)
Anastasia: FUUUUCK. Why does she only see when I fuck up? Why couldn’t she see me at lunch, or in bio. UGH
Steve: You didn’t fuck up.
Jason: yeah, you just took the stick out of our butt for a second. Here do you want it back? (handing her an imaginary stick)
Anastasia: Thank you (taking stick) I need that. It has been passed down from popular to popular.
Steve: (grabs pretend stick) Can we pretend you aren’t popular just a little longer? I like this Sia better.
Anastasia is taken back by hearing “Sia.”
Anastasia: you never call me Sia
Steve: because you aren’t her anymore…
Jason: and on that note…
Anastasia: (snapping out of love bubble) Where the hell do you have to go now. We were having a moment
Jason: You two were having a moment, I was just being the best third wheel in the world.
Steve: is there a girl? Are you holding back?
Jason: I’ll let you know. (winks and walks away)
Steve: holy shit.
Anastasia: holy shit.
Both: HOLY SHIT.
Anastasia: he is growing up. He found a mate.
Steve: don’t say mate.
Anastasia: I need to know who it is, let’s go!
Steve: stop. He will tell us when he is ready. Plus, I think we can find a better way to fill our time
Anastasia contemplates both options
Anastasia: I think queso is a great idea
Steve: That’s my girl
As Anastasia and Steve exit. As they exit Jason strolls back in. It needs to be obvious this is a new location. Throughout the conversation the sun is setting.
Jason: “I like you” mh “I like you” uh no “I just wanted to say I like you”
Taylor: (from around the corner) I know
Jason: How do you know I was talking to you?
Taylor: I know these things.
Taylor: You didn’t tell him, did you?
Taylor: I can’t do this anymore. Not if you won’t tell your best friend about me. What, are you ashamed?
Jason: (Sharp) NO!
Taylor: then what?
Jason: I don’t know. This is my first relationship; I don’t know how to do this.
Taylor: (holds hands) I’ll guide you (Kisses his forehead)
Jason: I’m sorry I suck at this. Will you sit with us tomorrow?
Taylor: As the cool kids table. Ooh, I don’t know
Jason: you don’t…
(during Jason’s line) Taylor: I’d love to
Jason: have to. You’re great, you know that right?
Taylor: I know.
Jason: I’m sorry I didn’t tell them.
Taylor: it is really okay. I know this is hard on you, especially because Anastasia is an “it” girl, and her wanting you to have a girlfriend, and her and Steve wanting to know everything about you.
Jason: I’ll text him right now
Jason’s phone appears on the screen. A text to Steve appears as Jason types: I meant to tell you sooner, but I wimped out. I’m seeing Taylor Alexander. I assume Sia will see this, so let her know Taylor will be at lunch tomorrow and she can interrogate them.
Steve and Anastasia are on the other end of the stage when the text sends.
Steve: You need to read this
Anastasia: Oh, he is growing up.
They exit while talking about the text
Jason: read at 7:23pm (puts phone back in pocket) no turning back now.
Taylor: no turning back